You have me pretty scared there. Do you have a therapist or a psych doc you can call soon? I find that when I get really depressed because of my sever panic attacks, I do a lot of writing in my journal. That helps me to cope big time. Is this something you do or could do to help you from SI? Thank you so much for posting back! It means a lot to me that you did. Contact me anytime, veggy, please. I'm here for you! {{{big hugs}}}