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Originally Posted by thinkinghappy
the kids just start fighting or refuse to listen to their dad..they throw screaming fits when they dont get their way.
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I don't have kids of my own and don't spent much time around kids. One thing that occurs to me when I am around kids is that I want to stay out of the way of whatever their parents are teaching them. I may not like to see them stuffing their faces with junk food or hear them fighting, for instance, but unless I already have a relationship with the kid (which hasn't been the case for quite a while) I'm not going to try to talk them out of it. The way I've mostly been handling it has been not that different from yours: getting away from the kids as gracefully as possible.
Once I had a roommate who'd occasionally have her young son (about 6, I think) for a day or a weekend. He turned out to be a handful. Once while his mom was out on an errand he asked if he could borrow my scissors. Since they were the pointed, adult kind I told him no, not unless his mom okayed it. He grabbed the scissors and ran off with them. I chased him down and took the scissors back; he took his revenge on my houseplants. The incident gave me a good excuse for avoiding him for the rest of the time that roommate lived there -- only a few more months.
More recently I worked a few times at the house of a father who seemed to treat his son (about 8? I don't remember) very harshly. I didn't see any physical violence, just lots and lots of blame. That was another situation I opted to get away from as soon as I could.
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i get to stressed to deal with it. i get shakey and major headaches so running from the problems is all i know to do. i dont want to yell and scream
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I haven't found any need to run away but I do make a point of avoiding unnecessary stress by walking away. I figure yelling and screaming would be about the least effective thing I could do and would be pretty sure to make the situation worse.
Any idea why it's so stressful for you? It sounds to me as though you need to stay in communication with your boyfriend about the kids and your reaction to them. You'll probably find the conversation easier if you've already started working out what your stress reaction is about and have a few insights to work with (and perhaps share).
If you wanted to look at some of your kid stress issues here, you'd probably find some good support in dealing with them.
Is this the weekend? How are things going?