Well, my uncle is one of three brothers. Their biological father has not been in the picture since they were teenagers, and my father and my other uncle do not speak with him at all. My uncle in prison is the only one who maintained a relationship with his father over the years. My father actually said to me, that he was worried they would take my biological cousins away from our family because, "they're going to think that (my biological uncle) was abused as a child, and that means they're going to assume that we all were, and then if they assume that mom knew about it, they won't let any of us keep them." So, he was more or less revealing the truth of the whole situation right there. I don't think my father has ever acted out like my imprisoned uncle, he was so uncomfortable with my sister and I growing up that he wouldn't even bathe or see us naked after we were 1 or 2. In fact, a lot of my own personal issues stem from not having gotten the attention I wanted and needed as a teenager, from my father.

In regards to my uncle, I do not believe that he is a bad person. I don't believe that there are any BAD people. I think that things happen to people that make them into twisted version of themselves, and they end up acting out in destructive ways. But all people were babies once, and no babies are bad. Even murderers, imo, are not BAD people. It's sad and tragic that they ended up as ill as they did and made such negative choices, but they aren't bad people. Just lost, confused, scared, broken, and sick.

I am worried more about my cousin at this point, who is now having a son of his own. But I try to tell myself even though it APPEARS that nothing came of the interview by protective services, that in fact, I did the right thing, and that somehow, it helped. Even if it just scared my cousin enough to get him to move out of the home with my younger biological cousins (which it did), and planted a seed for them to eventually find healing.... but it was by far one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do in my life. BECAUSE I love my family so much, and, the protective services worker I spoke with when placing the complaint was a real you-know-what, which made it all that much harder.

My cousin even once said to me, "you have no idea all of the f-ed up things my dad has done to me." We used to be so close through my teenage years, and right up until all of this happened. It does hurt me that he feels like I betrayed him, because I just wanted him to find the help he needed to escape a vicious cycle of abuse. Instead, he directed all of his anger and hatred towards me, and has turned my uncle into some kind of saint, and in general he has become some sort of martyr for our family.

I forgot the clincher, my adopted cousin and used-to-be best friend are naming their soon to be born son, after my uncle.