So far the weekend has not been too bad, they are here all day today so we will see. The main problems are that dad is such a softy that he does not make them listen and therefor the torture begins. They know that they can get away with about anything. I cannot do anything about it because they are not my children so the stress mounds to the point that I feel like i am going to have a panic attack. sometimes its like an episode of the nanny here. Also dad breaks my rules. I have made my computer room into an "adult only" place. here I can hide for one, and for two i keep my pictures and things i dont want ruined by the kids. well everytime i am not here he lets them in here. It is so irratating. Now..just so you all know that i am not just being petty I have to tell you the reason I do this.. The day my x hurt me he also destroyed everything I owened. If there was anything in my house that had meaning he destroyed it. He even cut the face out of all my daughters pictures who had passed away. I have recovered some pictures from family and I have made some new memories with things people have given me, I still dont have much..but I have a feirce protectiveness over things I do have. i talk to my bf about it and he has made some improvements but I fear for my health when i feel like this. I also know it confuses the children because they dont understand why i hide. Im not even sure my bf understands even though I tell him. I guess you have to have been through the traumas before understanding.