@exoticflower - please know that you are not the only one thinking this and feeling this, feeling creeped out that someone manipulated you for their own needs and you did not see it, did not stop it.

Like you, I think how could I have been so naive and stupid? I should have known better! My current adult self is starting to realize that I was still pretty young, and I really did not know, and I trusted that person. It has taken a long while, but now I feel bad for her that it happened vs. feeling like I asked for it, wanted it. It revolts me that he did it; makes me angry that he gets away with it. And the resulting decade(s) I did not trust men, and still think of them as stupid, weak, wanting only one thing?

I read a book "Trauma and Recovery" by Dr. Judith Herman. Really helped me to see the path to healing. There are so many of us on this path, really heart breaking.
Good for you, working on your healing.