Hi! First off I want to say that I am so sorry that this happened to you. I too am a survivor of rape and I totally understand what your going through. Im my case, I did come forward to my father and step mother, which was a mistake as they didnt believe me. After that, I kept it a secret for years until recently. You have much courage to come forward and tell your story. Its difficult. I still at times, if I allow myself to think about it, will blame myself for it. I guess because I feel like I should have known better. In my heart though, I know that no man should ever force a women to do anything ever if she says "NO". It isnt your fault. It is his fault for being such a sorry son of a ***** who feels the need to over power you and hurt you in the utmost way.
I dont think you can ever get over it. For me, its there. Always in the back of my mind. I dont let it run my life but it does make me nervous at times in certain situations. I'm sorry. I really dont have any advice other then seeing a T and learning how to deal with the feelings your going through. Honestly, I recently moved and havent found a new T. I was working on this with my old T before I moved so I never really got the chance to move forward in anyway. I am here for you. Please PM me if you ever need to talk.


Hugs,


Jen