I feel your pain.Been there and certainally done that! For over 24 years this has been going on.Im at the end of my rope now.Emotionally and in some other ways,my husband has lost me.Im basically at the point of no return now,for that very thing alone.Theres more to my story,but that is the # 1 thing that has hurt this relationship.Sorry to hear of this.Hope we can help each other and get alot of support. You take good care,and hold your head up girl!