{{{{{Irish}}}} you are not alone. I have the exact same thing-- I have a paralyzing fear of displeasing others or insulting them or offending them. It makes me feel like a spineless jellyfish... I tend to attract friends who are strong in their ability to say no to people and I have one friend who is really confrontational. I have forced myself to stay friends with her and it has helped me so much to work through confrontations and tell her when I am uncomfortable or feel offended. She'll say something that hurts me and I'll get quiet. Then she'll realize I got quiet and she says, "Do you have hurt feelings." And I've learned to say yes! And then we talk about it. Not always a pretty discussion, but I'm learning. So I am practicing with the people I feel safe with. I say things like, "would you be willing to (fill in the blank) because when you do that, I feel hurt or lonely or ignored (whatever the case may be). I'm hoping to get up the nerve to put it into practice at work soon, but I haven't needed to yet...

What I learned is that I am just as valid as other people and if the person I am afraid to displease really loves me, then they will forgive me if I displease them.

And one last thing... I realized I was making a lot of assumptions about how people were feeling (i.e., Carole must be mad at me because she hasn't called me back). Then I find out she was going thru a very sad situation with her adoption process. It helps just to tell myself: my friends and family love me. life just gets busy for them and I mustn't make assumptions. It's a form of self-doubt when I do this, I think...

Hope this helps in some small way and I wish you peace deep in your heart. (I'm Irish too, by the way.) <font color="purple"> </font>