I have been working really hard in therapy lately, like really trying to talk about some of my emotions and it has not been easy. Even broke down balling for at least 15 minutes straight one session, not the norm at all for me.

Anyways, the past two sessions my T has said to me, your not well and I am concerned; I was sitting thinking what, I am doing everything I have always been doing, I don't get it. The only thing that I think may have made her say that was because I have lost 30 pounds in the past few months without trying, but the thing is, I am still eating like I always have, maybe a tad bit healthier but no big changes.

I was actually a bit concerned myself with the weight loss, since I was not exercising or trying to lose weight so I went to the doctors, my doctor had me have all kinds of blood work done and every thing was fine. I'm not sure that my T believes me that I am eating fine, she has asked me quite a few times if I had eaten before I came, if I am eating 3 meals, things like that. I'm 129 lbs now, so I am not that small or unhealthy looking. I have never had and eating disorder or anything like that.

I guess I just feel uncomfortable with her telling me that I am not well or that I am too overwhelmed. Of course I am overwhelmed, I am sharing my fears with her as well as things that are going on in my life, how could I not get overwhelmed? It makes me worry when she says that too me, as if there is something wrong with me.

I actually thought I was doing better in opening up more than I ever have with her. I mean I have been talking so much more during session. Sometimes it makes me wonder if I should be telling her the stuff I have, like if she can handle it herself. I can admit that I have felt more depressed at times lately which I have shared with her but it hasn't stopped me from doing things, and I would suspect most people would feel depressed talking about some of the stuff that I have lately. I mean I haven't resorted to medication or anything like that yet so I don't get it.

I don't even know why I am writing this......maybe I just need to get it out.