kerria,

one thing we've wondered about your plight is whether or not you have the ability to print out your posts from your near year here and posts from any other boards you may use.

we ask because from reading your posts here and elsewhere we can create a "profile" of you and what you share online. we wonder if you're aware of what you share with the public and whether or not there is any inside continuity with what you've posted and what you "remember" posting.

it could be very helpful to gather your posts onto a disc or print them out if possible as you've gone into great detail about your therapist and difficulties with him over time, you've expressed much information about your chronic pain situation and doctors related to that, and the constant expression of how hard it is to live as you do.

we know your life isn't easy. we don't know what to suggest as from what you've written it appears you cannot switch from your T to anyone else and you've looked into that option many times with negative results.

you've mentioned inpatient stays that were less than helpful so the idea of going back in doesn't make much sense.

we dont know what much to offer other than the links and books that are specifically for those seeking different methods of internal communication. even with those tools it can be hard if there isn't enough support around to help one get through the material.

we have a special place in our heart for you kerria. we wish you all could have moments of peace instead of this terrifying confusion y'all are living in currently.

blessings to you sweetie.