This is kind of crazy of me to do this since I don't post on any sites. I just kind of had a weird day. I will go on to make a long story long.

I grew up very religious. I grew up in a fundamentalist denomination. I am still very religious and find great comfort in my faith. I am no longer fundamentalist but more so mainline. I grew up with the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex. This is something that I accomplished (barely). My now husband and I met each other at church. I was very smitten with him after knowing each other for sometime, and we began to date. We dated for a long time. I continued to be smitten with him. Our relationship was very physical without having intercourse. We "made out" almost every time we were together. I was very much the driving force in the physical relationship.

We got married soon after high school. We were very excited to have sex! However, it didn't really work out. I am very uptight and I can't seem to enjoy sex. We go long periods (the longest one being about 18 months) without even trying to have sex. Most of the time after trying to have sex, I end up crying and he comforts me.

We have a wonderful marriage. I cannot imagine a better husband. He is so patient with me and spoils me rotten .

I have talked to my Gynecologist about this and she seems to think it is all in my head. I tend to agree with her. I am diabetic which does complicate sex some, but it shouldn't complicate it this much.

Since being married, I have fantasized about famous and exceptionally beautiful women. It isn't an often occurrence but it has happened occasionally (like once every 2 to 3 months). I don't fantasize about "normal" women. Most of the time, the things that trigger that fantasies are overtly sexual (a women with little clothes). I am attracted to handsome men as well. Many of them in "real life."

I have my own guesses about why I have these fantasies, but I would like another opinion.