Yesterday was Valentine's Day / my boyfriend John's and my first anniversary. When I went to his house, we watched Buffy (which I love), but both of his brothers were sitting on the couch with us, so we didn't get to be intimate at all. After the episode was over, the brothers left. John told me he was tired (and implied that he wanted me to go home), so I got upset. I told him I just wanted to cuddle with him, but he said he didn't want to fall asleep. I felt more upset, because it seemed like he didn't want to cuddle with me at all. I said okay and started getting up, but he got upset when I did that. He realized that I was upset, so we decided we would make time to just cuddle later that week, but then he started to kiss me + wanted sex. I told him that it didn't make sense to have sex if we couldn't cuddle, and he agreed but then kept kissing me & we had sex that was very centered on him (which it is most of the time) - I was on my period but we weren't in a place where cleaning up blood would be easy, so we had **** sex, which I like but not as much as I like vaginal sex. When we were done, I didn't want to kiss him because I was upset, and he said he felt objectified when I wanted to cuddle with him but didn't want to kiss him. I don't understand what's going on or why I couldn't stop having sex with him. I don't know why we almost always have sex that is focused on him. Our sex is objectifying for me, which I like and dislike at the same time - it almost always has s+m aspects, but it happens so often that it is more just sadism. I'm 18, and he's 17. I love him, and I have told him so - he doesn't know if he loves me. What should I do?