Hi.Your story was pretty touching to me.Somethings in it I can relate to.I have been been with my husband for over 24 years.Being the devoted mother and wife I took care of everyone.I have no known sickness,although after the hell I have been through the last 24 years,I probably developed one.When I got married,thats when I started seeing the true colors of this relationship.Only mostly its like a ''jeckal and hyde'' marriage.All I ever wanted was a husband to hold,nurture,and just be there for me, the sadnesses or just anything for me.NOPE! Doesnt have the time I guess,and til this day still really doesnt.No interest in me.I also know about the ''porn'' thing,which is soooo degrading to us hard working,good people.He took 10 days off work to paint the house.Only to come home and find my computer LOADED full of the porn sites he was on that day.I almost lost it.I cleared the history each day and found it back on again.I was devastated at that point.I thought I was doing everything right as his wife.But the last 5 years has taken its toll.Arguing alot,over stupid stuff even. I just got put so far back on the burner after all these years,I just stayed back there.Now hes basically getting back what he gave me.We pretty much dont talk anymore.I have no desire for sex with him,but still do..We have really no time out together,ever.Last few months we play bingo with other people,outside the home.Never really had time just him and me.Thats another thing that hurt...no bondin,or communication.I love my husband and always will.9 months ago I ran across a man I knew in my teen years.Seeing him afew times,turns out hes the man I should have married.Hes single and Im not.We both have feelings for eachother.I fell in love and he never leaves my head.My husband doesnt know how I feel about him.He does know about him though,because I told him I was leaving him for this man.SOOOO... Hell broke lose again.He decided to try to be the perfect husband I wanted.Doing things just to favor me.The only thing is,is its too late.I dont love him like I used to.I just dont know what I have done wrong all these years.I dont know how to tell him Im done.I want out.We are in way compatible.I feel we never were.I tried for so long to make things work.But now its gone.The heartbeat is gone. Just dont know.So after all this I think I have sunk into a depression of somesort.Because I cant be with the one I love.I found the perfect match after 24 years.Now what?