Sometimes the only way to get off the back burner is to get up and walk away. Now to go through the grieving process. No easy task, but neither is staying. I am still amazed by people who quit caring about their marriage and then get surprised when their spouse wants to leave. I too am concerned about the division of marital assets and the lack of income. You still have to be married to get a divorce. It is important for you and your children's future to work on getting what you need instead of giving him so much just to get out. I hope you also keep in mind that he gave up on you because of an illness (in sickness and in health) and licked his wounds with porn. Do not let him have everything.