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This isn't meant as a criticism of you, but this is a bizarre situation in multiple ways. I can't even fathom what sort of therapists would entangle the two of you in treatment like this. It's as if you've been cast as a "helper" to your roommate and the central focus of your therapy shifted away from you to your roommate. So you're left with responsibility pinned on you but without people trying to help you.
I don't get it.
What sort of school is this? Catholic? All-male? It sounds like a therapist serving some interests other than what's best for you, like directed by religious beliefs. It's very odd.
The talk about you violating boundaries is strange. As a T patient you’re not supposed to have demands placed on you relating to something other than your well-being.
How about: Get a new roommate, put solid boundaries in place for whatever level of contact you want to have, and
For Certain--get a new therapist, one who isn't subject to the rules of the school, or the religious authority or political or whatever it is that’s causing the distortion involved. Independent. It is, as someone else said, all enmeshed, incl. the school itself.
Since you're familiar with philosophy, here's a way to look at what that/those therapist(s)tried to do to you: They no longer treated you as an end in yourself, they made you into a means to serve the ends of another person (rommate's well-being). A person's personal T should never treat him/her as anything but an end in him/herself. You lost that due to no fault of your own. It is possible that you misunderstood what your T meant a ways back in the story, but now it's so far entrenched and developed of a situation that possibly you can't continue with him.
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out of my mind, left behind
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