What exactly happens during sex? Are you attracted to him or feel guilt for not being as attracted to him as you once were. Is it just a painful experience? Are you trying to have children?

I don't know what to say about women in magazines and men off the street except that it's OK to appreciate beauty. I don't know if these fantasies are full on and take hours on end to stop them, but I have terrible fantasies too about men in my life, but I am gay so I don't know what to do about it. I have tried the religious aspect of chastity but it's not for me and I am too liberal to associate with fundamental Christians, not to be rude, but they seem like they are on a witch hunt most of the time. I do find things evil or good in society and pray often about my own struggles but I don't know how to achieve complete chastity.

If this is a problem forever in the future, the Catholic church actually approves of complete chastity and you can be nurtured in your faith more to achieve that, if your husband becomes irritated with your sexual life. If it is that painful than I would stop. Are you taking any anti-depressents that cause sexual dysfunction in women? Some of them do cause this even though it is rare.

You will make it through and for now you having a forgiving husband that appreciates you for who you are. Just know that life has changes and can lead you to different places. I tell my parents to divorce all the time, though they are not religious, they get the point that I am tired of them fighting between each other. Jesus said that in the Kingdom of Heaven which comes to Earth slowly advancing it's way from the time of His prophesy that no one will be given in marriage, and sexual lust will be done away with. Many people take this to mean a lot of different things, but to be fundamental about it, there are vocations you could take in churches that would understand that you had trouble with a sexual life with your husband and have chosen chastity as the other alternative. I don't know the solution, it is a tough problem. A therapist can help with what's in your head that causes sex to be so painful. Sometimes for a woman or man, they have to be completely aroused and in the mood for the pain to subside and for it to be enjoyable. Are you a nervous wreck when you try to have a sexual encounter with your husband or are you a willing participant ready to throw his clothes off? Sorry if these are personal questions but one thing I have learned with my therapist is the more I open up about my history with sex the more I understand my problems with intimacy.