Part of it for me is also that I never was ok. I have had depression as long as I can remember, since early childhood. Nobody thought that it was worth treating before. When I first went to therapy, when I was 19, and I was wandering the streets at night wishing that a car would hit me, I was told that I was just homesick. Nobody validated that I was depressed or offered medication back then. I'm better now than I used to be. I didn't ask for meds for depression because SJW works well enough for me that I manage. I told my pdoc that "it's tolerable." She disagreed, and I said, "I tolerate it." Anxiety is causing problems for me consistently though, so I had to do something about that. I'm used to sticking it out through 2 or 3 depressive episodes per year, but constant anxiety makes me less effective at doing my work, limits my career, and keeps me from being as helpful to others as I would like to be. I probably wouldn't take meds just for me, but was willing to give it a try when I recognized that other people are affected by my disorder.

The rant going on in my head is that I never needed drugs to manage before, and nothing has really changed, so why should I need them now?