My first story:
Last summer I was out for a bit, and my husband was watching T. I got home and saw just how much he WASN't watching him. T had red marker all over his toes and fingers. I asked him why he painted them red. His response: I didn't want to paint them green.

I found out the next day what prompted him to give himself a pedicure and manicure. One of his teachers had that done in prep for a wedding she was attending that next weekend.