sg, i also think it would be helpful for you to get your focus off of him and onto what you want and don't want. sometimes it is good to just write down what is essential in a relationship for you and what you'd really like as well. some of those things will be negotiable and some will be non-negotiables. you can't change or fix him and it really isn't your job. your focus seems to be very much on him and what he's doing or not doing that you don't like. i don't think this is healthy for either or you. you have to decide if he is someone you can be with as he is.