(((Jeff))) I am sad that you feel so desparate. Sad because I understand the feeling and would never want another to feel so low. BUT...if you are really that close to the edge and are not safe you MUST seek help. Go to your local crisis center, ER, or your school counselor and tell him/her how hurt and lonely and bad you are feeling.
I understand what it is like to want to die. I have been going through a very hard time myself. But, I have stayed safe. And when I could not I knew to call my T or if she didn't answer the phone I knew I would need to drive my self to my local crisis center.

I know you are only seeing what is in front you...the school year. But please please please know that your future is ahead of you and you will and can go and be and do anything you want.

I don't know if this is helping. All I know is I understand your pain and your anger and I hope you will seek help before your impulses take over.