Please don't be sorry for speaking your mind. We are here to listen, okay? You know, I was actually thinking your mother was abusive to you when I read the other thread you posted. i think you can just sense it, that other people are like you. I also thinking that people that have been physically abused can become desensitized to pain, so it is easier for them to cut. I could understand why your mother wouldn't help you get you own therapist or let you talk to the therapist by yourself, because she's afraid you'll tell on her. How is your other parent to you? Is he/she nicer than your mom? Could he/she help you or could another family member? The only thing you can do is try to do is do other things that can calm you down, instead of cutting. Like going to take a walk, hanging out with friends, etc. There's a whole list of things on a sticky in this forum that you can do instead of cutting. Try to stay around more people that care about you and don't scare you. Try not to let yourself be alone too much, so that you don't have as many opportunities to. Could you talk to a school counselor? Your mom wouldn't have know about it. Plus, you get to get out of class for a little while. I used to do that when I went to school. I loved it, I was always so excited to go and take a break from classes and talk about my issues. You can go down to the school office before school starts, they usually have a little paper to fill out, like what time you want to see the counselor and why you need to talk to her/him. My school counselor suggested using a red maker on my arm instead of cutting. I don't remember if I ever tried it. Keep posting so we know how you are. (((hugs)))