Mhm. I just apologize because I'm just used to messing up, and I feel bad for just blabbering about my stupid problems and wasting people's time. Yeah. That makes sense about the sensing, and desensitizing. I can barely feel them anymore, and they've definately gotten deeper. Another reason I posted on here. My dad is...well he doesn't hit me. But he doesn't help either. He will either just sit there and watch, go upstairs and watch TV, or go to sleep, like nothing wrong is happening. So he's no help either. My other family member live in other states, except for my grandma, who I would not want to bother with this since her husband recently died. Yeah. Sometimes that stuff works. But when it gets really bad, I assume you might know this, but I'm not sure, it's just too hard to do something else. And a lot of them, like bathing, or stabbing paper or something is the last thing I want to do, as I would probably end up drowning myself, or at least getting close. Yeah, I try to stay away from my house, and with friends, but my mom just grounds me, and makes that impossible. I guess I could try talking to my school counselor, but I'm scared. Isn't there a law that says if I say something about harming myself she has to tell my parents or the police? I don't want that to happen, and I don't trust that she wouldn't.
I hate just talking about myself like this, I feel like I'm not listening to any advice, saying excuses for why it won't work, and like I'm just being stupid. I am listening and taking in everything said by anybody. I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like it. I just don't know.