It is so much harder with your own kids sometimes than in most professional contexts, because with your own kids you have more of your own emotions to deal with and it is hard to be calm and objective. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a little time to breathe and put yourself together. It is easier to stay calm if you have a plan addressing the current crisis. Figure out what the problem is and what outcome you are hoping for. How can you communicate your goal to the kids and get them on board with it? One of the most useful things I have learned from my professional experience that applies every bit as much at home to is to establish that whatever the problem is, you are working with the kids or other people involved to solve the problem. Thus, it is "us, against the problem;" never "me against you."