I think a big problem with this is that they're dealing with their own reactions to how other people dealt/acted with them. It's fairly impossible for 2 people to agree on things, especially when it comes to how someone else acted. Because when I get criticized I have a hard time accepting anything other than the fact -oh crap i messed up, i did something wrong- when it might not be like that. I might have done something the other person didn't like- but that doesn't necissarily mean that what I did was wrong. Another thing is when you're dealing with other people, they might mean one thing but it means a whole 'nother thing to you. Tone of voice, and they way they're looking at you, and even how tired they are can lead you to believe the wrong thing.

If shula thinks that people were unkinda and cruel, she might not be looking at it with an uncritical eye. She might think that ANY person who teased you was being unkind, when the person might mean it in a nice way.

As for elsie, guilt is a very vary hard thing to deal with. If you're taught as a child that it's your fault for someone elses actions you're going to grow up thinking that their reactions to you (what THEY should be controlling) is your fault.

And it's possible that some people were cruel and unkind, a lot of people are. But a lot of people aren't. So you have to not just figure out IF they are, you also have to figure out if YOU are judging them too much or too hard.

Aslo, it's possible that you were doing somethings wrong, or were too demanding... BUT BUT BUT!!!! BUT!!!! (<--- notice the emphasis) it's much MUCH MUCH more likely that someone was judging YOU too toughly, and making you feel like you were wanting more than they could or should give. And in doing so they gave the impression that any asking of help was too much.

As for finding someone to look after you and the baby, that's something you might need to look to yourself for. :P Trying talking amongst yourselves (and i'm not sure how much you can all talk) and maybe they can take turns with you... Maybe BC can help, I'm not sure how involved she is in this process. I know that I have this problem. I try to get people to help me do things that I can do so that I know they love me. don't ask me why I don't know... it's just something I do and haven't figured out yet.

I hope this is making sense and maybe helping you some.

[[[[[[[dragonhugs]]]]]]]