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(JD) · Feb 17, 2010, 04:41 PM

Quote:

One thing i will not tolerate is having somebody that i dont even know thinking that im BAWW and being irresponsible.

How do you accomplish that?
I learned a while back that someone else's opinion of me is none of my business. All I can do, and you, and everyone, is to be the best we can be in any situation.
Ok, so we muff things up, right? We're human--you're human.
It seems you have reevaluated the situation over and over.
Take what you can that is helpful to you ... what you won't do again, what you wish to do in the future in a similar situation ... and move on.

You have a lot of anger, and I know that such situations may seem like life and death.
However, few relationships that we have during our maturing years are kept after school or college. Just like no one remembers what grade you made in algebra or whether you passed with plenty of credits or just a few extra.
I'm sorry that the situation flared up so hugely for you.

I think if you could read over the 10 cognitive distortions (posted at the top of the psychotherapy forum) you will find some things you can ask your T about, in how to help you with the way you're thinking.
It isn't the end of the world (I know it may feel that way.)
Everyone else in the situation has their own baggage, too, remember?
You can post on your other site an apology ... to whatever extent you wish (even just saying you're sorry it's so messed up ...)

I promise that future loves won't know or care about this situation in the future.
This event doesn't mean you are this way forever, to react this way forever. It doesn't even mean you are those things you think you are now. But, you can change. You can change what you don't like about yourself, and keep what you do! That's what's so great about being human ...
we can evaluate and change things.