I started today thinking it would be pretty much uneventful, and it was, except for one thing. Today during gym class, a girl that I don't like cut her finger. Her friend, another person I am not fond of, said to her "what, are you a cutter?" jokingly and they laughed about it. I have a problem when anybody jokes around with SI like this, because it refers to the stigma that we all hate so much. I, without thinking, said to the girl, "don't joke around with stuff like that because it isn't funny". They started in on me, and we're saying stuff back and forth. I remember saying something like "well that shows how pathetic you are" and she said something like "yeah I guess it does" all sarcastically. Again, without thinking, I looked down at the roll of tape in my hand, and threw it at the girl They start freaking out, go to the office to talk to the principal. I get upset, can't believe what I just did, and I go too. After talking with him, the principal said that standing up for myself is fine, but this situation didn't warrant that because they weren't actually bullying me. I told him that I stand up for stuff like this because it has such a heavy stigma and I want to help get rid of that. I ended up making up with the girl, but I know they still talk about me because of this. I just wish I wouldn't let my emotions get out of control. Whenever I land myself in the office for something like this, I end up crying. I hate it. I feel weak because of it, and pathetic. There are some things I could have said to that girl that would make more of an impact than what I did, but when the adrenaline is coursing through my body like it was here, I just couldn't think of what I wanted to say. I wanted to hurt her with my words. She said to me "I've never done anything to you". I said "Oh really? What about in fifth grade when you spread rumors about me?" She laughed because, come on, fifth grade?! Of course they don't get it. She doesn't and the principal won't. They don't understand the effect bullying has on a person, how it stays with you, even though they say they do. I feel guilty about what I did, but I don't regret standing up for what I believe in. I just wish I hadn't cried.