Thank you for being there, Amanda. I'm not seeing a Therapist until the first Wednesday in march and I'm absolutely terrified because I know by then I'll have lost at least another stone. Which will put me over half a stone underweight. The same day that I have my appointment, there is a self help group that I'll be going to with a friend from work because he wants to go, to understand how to support me better. I found the last one extremely helpful, because although I was explaining to another career how to help his daughter, how she feels and sees things etc, I was also feeding it into my friend's head and he could understand it so much better.

I felt so hopeless tonight. This was after I ate a packet of crisps to just have something and then had a shower to make myself fell cleaner, but then decided a bath would be better to relax me, which it did... But it relaxed me so much that it let all the bad thoughts come in. So yeah. Bad time. So when I tried to talk to Connor about it, he seemed to ignore it.

I feel like no-one's proud of me, especially considering the fact that today I became a fully qualified fishmonger. Only a few people have congratulated me and said how proud of me they are. Ok maybe most people don't need that, but I don't have a fmaily or friends to go home to and tell and have them say "Nice one! Well done you worked damn hard for that", because I bloody well did. i worked my butt off to become a fully qualified fishmonger. I was dropped in the deep end because I started just before christmas so it was lucky that I got the job because I'm a fast learner and picked up the job really well, even without some of the training.

I'm very tired today... Have to be up at 4am and in work at 5am Fun times. I'm gonna take it easy tomorrow if I can. I'm in until 1pm, so I can just come home and chill out. I hope.

Don't know what else to say right now, my head is throbbing so, so much

Thanks for the help