that's pretty much what it looks like for me, too. It'd be "nice" if I could cry in T and process things that way, it'd certainly be easier for the casual observer to pick up on. But my T is in tune with me and can tell when I'm feeling something, I can't help it that I have learned through my life to hide my feelings. It's hard for me to show anything at all.

So getting tense and clenching my fists and not breathing might not LOOK like a lot but it certainly FEELS like a lot.