Trigger just in case/death

Just curious if there's anyone here whose child has died.

I was talking with a business acquaintance who told me she wouldn't be in tomorrow as she was taking the day off for her daughter's birthday. It's been hours since we had that conversation. I didn't think another thing about it. But a few minutes ago, I found myself thinking about my daughter's birthday (months ago) and how I don't have that anymore. I know the date is always there, but she's not.

Wow, I dissociated big time. A big slinking sideways movement with ear ringing and the feeling of chest compression. Not unlike the day we buried her. My hands tingled and the ear ringing became so intense. I watched myself at the cemetery from above.

I just stopped what I was doing. I took the time to remember. I felt so sad for me, so sad for her. I don't have any tomorrow's to take off for her birthday. I used to take time off for her death date but I stopped. That was too much, more like inflicted grief...not healthy.

I just sob for her sometimes. Anyone here know this kind of grief? Have you lost a child?