I agree. It's something I'm just starting to discover. I don't currently have a relationship with him, either. Not for lack of trying; I don't think he wants much to do with me now that he has a new wife and can pretend that my mother and everything associated with her (including me) never existed. Sometimes I think that, despite how calm and composed he always is, I am far stronger than he. He also seems ashamed that I didn't turn out exactly like he wanted me to; he hates himself and sees that I'm very much like him. But that's nothing I can change. The best I can do is to be receptive if he ever wants a relationship, and to learn from his mistakes so that when it comes time for me to have children, I can do a better job. I don't have any hard feelings toward my dad, though--I just feel very sorry for him. He must be a very sad man.