I think I brought on too much attention when I started talking about about a time line .
Too much attention can distract me from remembering that I have too much hurt, pain and embarrassment to live any type of normal life.
I am 36 but feel 6. I look at people my same age and I do not compare to them. It is like I do not have a concept of what it is like to feel 36.

I woke up this morning with one thought "The beast must go away!"
And, I happen to be the beast.