I think it's upsetting because you're frustrated and feeling like your pdoc has her interests rather than yours in mind. You're completely validated in feeling bad about that if that's indeed the case. As far as the number of pdocs you have seen, who cares? It doesn't matter if you see one per week until you find one that works for you. It's worth it because again, you need good care (and not just you personally but everyone who needs treatment for mental illness). It seems like your options are going to be to talk to your pdoc about the issues you're having with her (i get it that that's hard) or find a new one, or keep things the way they are. I can't tell you what the best option is because I don't know where you live or what your exact situation is, but thinking globally those are your options. Good luck deciding... its so hard and I'm sorry it's rough for you right now.