((((((((loveregardless))))))))))

My heart is breaking for you as I read your latest entry. I wanted to share a bit of my journey with you so hopefully you don't feel so alone...

I have two little children (IRL) and am 6mths pregnant with #3. I had always been aware of other 'energies' within as I've written about in other threads. But everything always managed to get along. When my first child came along, a boy, there was some minor disruption, but nothing that alerted me to the possibility of DID. Then my daughter was born, and the wheels fell off. My life turned upside down, with the most horrendous harrassing distressing head chatter about myself, my child and my family as a whole. 'Being here' for my family became a huge struggle, as a particular voice in my head had me convinced they'd be better off without me. The depression one of my energies fell into was deep, but then I'd forget I had a baby at all, then I'd just walk out the house to go to the shop and leave both kids behind, plus other stuff that had my family reeling. Life really went mad for me. But the depressed part sought outside help, and, thank you God, I finally, after 20 years of being in the mental health system, I got a therapist who actually listened. Since then, the decision to have baby #3 was a huge one (not that the decision to have a bub is ever a light one). I have the support of my husband (obviously! ), my family (who still think I have bipolar and BPD which were previous diagnosies), and my therapists. Life is still 'mad' but a lot less scarey. I'm learning about me in huge leaps and bounds, but the big thing that I'm trying to prepare myself for after the birth of this baby is for the voice with no name who doesn't want us to be here, who owns hurt, so that a) they won't affect us, and b) hopefully we can help them.
Sorry this was long, but from one new mum to another, I wanted to offer you some comfort that, whether you have DID or not is kind of irrelevant to me, you are reaching out and I wanted to let you know you are being heard and you are not alone in feeling distressed and fretting for the wellbeing of your child. I sincerely hope that your experience on Friday with your new T is a good positive one.
Good luck for Friday, we'll be thinking of you.
kp