I have appreciated reading this exchange between Farmergirl and Sannah. It shows different strokes for different folks, and that what approach works for a person in therapy (and life!) is very individualistic.

When I was going through my divorce, one of the things I found helped me a lot was to let the feelings out about the ending of the relationship. I was grieving. I didn't have to work to identify the thinking behind the feelings, as it was very apparent--I was sad because a 20+ year relationship was ending. Knowing the reason behind my sad feelings did not help me resolve the feelings, though. It turned out that they resolved once I let them out and grieved. I did a lot of this in therapy, and needed a lot of encouragement from my T because I tend to stuff my feelings inside of me and not feel them. It took quite a while. In general, now that I have learned that it is OK to feel things as they happen (instead of stuffing them away), I find I like to have feelings. I like it when I can have them in the moment and experience them, and I don't try to resolve them. I just have them. If I don't stuff them away, they don't need resolving. To me, the word "resolve" almost has this associated meaning of "make them go away." I don't like to make my feelings go away anymore. Farmergirl, do you use the approach you described and your skills mostly on feelings you believe are "problematic" in some way (anxiety provoking? triggering? stuck?), or do you use them on all feelings? It could be that some may think that is an obvious question, but I am still trying to understand about feelings, so it's not to me. Hearing other people's experiences with feelings is helpful to me.