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Old Feb 19, 2010, 04:19 PM
Anonymous32910
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kitten16 View Post
The topic of forgiveness popped up here...I think forgiveness is so very difficult. Sometimes I think it isn't even voluntary. I'm not sure you can force yourself to forgive. I sure wish it was possible though.

Maybe this is just a for-me thing -- your mileage may vary. But for me, I can't forgive just by wanting to. It's a thing where I just wake up and realize I've stopped hating on someone for about a year, and it was effortless! It does feel great, but I've never been able to force it

It's like love. I can't force myself to love someone. It totally has to bubble up spontaneously. I love the therapeutic approach to life -- God knows, it's probably saved my life! But I think there is sometimes too much credence placed in the therapeutic assumption that we ought to be able to control every aspect of our emotions. Sometimes you can't, and I still stay that's okay
Totally agree. When forgiveness finally came, it was just there one day. And I've also learned that I have to forgive certain people again and again sometimes. It hasn't been a one time only thing for me. But each time is a little easier I guess. Forgiveness is really freeing for me, particularly forgiveness of the self.