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Hunny · Feb 19, 2010, 05:34 PM

((((Anderson))))

Quote:

Originally Posted by anderson

(((((HUNNY)))))
The reason our pain is so stong is because there are those that have used our fear againts us.

These are horrendous and cowardly acts forced upon you, Anderson. These injustices are needing to be brought under the authority of God. Although, for those who follow Him they will be fine but His justice for those perpetrators of these crimes against you will be far worse than whatever we can think of.

There are those that honestly thought they were helping us heal but the truth is that non of those that wanted anything to do with us in person did not want to help but create more pain for us.

There are so many people protecting the perpetrators of these stinking deeds, Anderson. The list and the heirarchy from most powerful to least is long. We trust the punishments will fit the crimes.

That is why we are hurting so much.

((((((Anderson))))))

The biggest waight on us now is not the past pain but the pain of the present abuse of not having no one to trust face to face not to try to hurt us.

Trust is so elusive for those of us with all forms of abuse and neglect. It is evasive and does not allow us to hold, in intimacy anyone but ourself/ves and very close family, even if our hearts long for more. I pray peace upon us all but not the peace of apathy, the peace that passes understanding. You know what I mean?

We even told someone yesterday our biggest mistake is two fold we went to mentil health to get help they told eveybody we were not going to recover so a group of men desided to use my pain to their advantage.

This really makes me/us so darn mad. You will recover Anderson and you are recovering and you will be testament to that recovery as we all will be! I will persevere and so will you and I pray the others here do not give up either. I pray those in the mental health who were ignorant and chose to remain ignorant of how to help you, me and others will have to stop doing what they are doing. They will no longer be able to use their credentials to mask their inability to see. This I pray as I pray for protection on us all.

The second mistake was believeing that anyone could accept me for who I am and help us heal in safety.

((((((Anderson))))) We all have to reach out for help. It was not in the reaching out that was wrong. Safety comes in many forms. I pray for safe spaces internally and externally for you, my friend. We will overcome!

This is not true for everyone here this was based on what happened to me and how those around me choice to see the truth.

Anderson, I know, I know. I also too went through different therapists and coping mechanisms and there was a let down each time. The question that remained was, like the song: "Is that all there is?" I am talking about honesty, truth and accountability. Who is going to be that one? Some did the best they could but they stopped at their experience, their education. They sought no spiritual foundation. Then they brought me into their lair. The ones that sought that foundation had their own fears and I wound up being a mentor or helper to them, at times. All functions of the person must be working in order to help someone else. If they aren't honestly taking care of their 'number 1, themself/ves' then how on earth can I expect them to help me? I know that answer well. I extend patience while they learn but I fall more to pieces waiting. Not anymore though and you either Anderson. But we all need each other too. No man/woman is an island. So back to the beginning. I have to learn to trust someone, God, you, the others here and back then to fear. I am afraid, like you to be hurt in the present. And around we go again.

As to you inner part, start doing healing time. That is when we take a doll or even use your grand children. But during this time picture the part and say to that part as I treat this...... That is how I am treating you. When taking baths or doing something that makes you feel good just say "As I am doing this, this is how I treat you." Make up some positive statments. You can help this part deal with the paiin it hold with out being connected. We told one person to hold a doll or stuffie and think of the part that was in so much pain. Then say to the doll and part as I love this..... I love, accept you, and thank you for caring the pain that I was not able to bare my self. This is where if you can see that this part is a valuble yet seperat till that part has heal from the extrem pain that joining is so much easier and softer.

Thank you for the words for the healing time. I can see me/us doing this and I can let you know how this layer of the onions skin looks sitting on the ground...no longer wrapped around me like a vice.

To be believed and believe. Thanks to those who believe me, thanks to myself for believing me. Thanks, Anderson to you for believing me.

Love,
Hunny

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