I have some of the same issues with my husband. He's an alcoholic, so he says really hurtful things that send me spiraling down into a black hole of despair while he's snoring it off on the couch. He wakes up the next day and doesn't even remember it. So here I am, feeling stupid because I'm hurt and he's oblivious and going about his business as if nothing is wrong.

One thing I had to learn how to do was just do the best I could by myself, because in the end, that's all you can do is take care of yourself. I got myself into a position where I could leave him if I could. Once I was empowered in that way, and he knew it, it changed the dynamic in our relationship. He no longer felt that I was dependent on him - I had my own life, my own goals, and my own sustainable income. He's not a bad person, but he needed to understand that I could stand on my own if I had to.

Another thing that really helped me was to volunteer to help the needy - I do Habitat for Humanity. It puts me outside of myself and my own problems and gives my energies a focus rather than on the negative. I am working on giving someone a meaningful gift, and that tends to give me perspective.

I don't know if this helps. I can identify with your feelings, and I hope things get better for you. I am always at my lowest at night, and by the morning, am always glad I held on for one more day. It's a little like conquering addiction - you just have to go on one day at a time. Looking into the future when you are depressed can sometimes seem really bleak.