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I have a similar fear. I'm afraid people will find out I'm bipolar. Mostly because of my job. I'm a newly graduated RN and work in a psych hospital! Most the time, I feel like I belong on the other side of the desk... I've been there before. And the stress of being an RN is way more than I bargained for. I really feel about to go off the deep end most of the time.
Anyway, I've struggled as well with wondering if it was just something I should be able to control. My family beleives it is. "Just get over it." I hear. But knowing what I do about the chemicals in the brain and their workings together, there is no "just getting over it." It's a condition. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer to "just get over it." and though people don't understand it today, you can't just get over a real mental illness either.
There's things you can do to help control the symptoms... cut out alcohol, learn coping skills, relaxation, sleeping well, etc... but it's there, inherintly, and if all the dealing with the symptoms doesn't work for you, then you need to try to get on some medications. Seriously, doctors are bound by HIPPA- a privacy act. They can lose their license if they tell anyone that you are even being seen by them. But if you still feel uncomfortable, maybe another town close by?
hope some of this helps.
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