I thought this would be hard for me to answer, but I just took a look at where I'm at right now, and so far the hardest thing I've had to deal with so far is trying to forgive myself, and also mourning the loss of that "me". Not the drunk me, just the me that I was. Not that I miss that girl, but I almost feel like I killed off a part of myself. And believe me, I'm glad I did! But I didn't expect a period of mourning for my life....going through the stages of grief in the loss of a part of me, however bad it was. I did a 4th step on myself with my sponser on Sunday and wow.....now I'm just working on making amends to myself and forgiving myself. Easier said then done! But once I took a hard look at my feelings towards how far I've come, what I've left behind, and what I've gained, I felt a sense of relief, and a love for myself far beyond what I thought possible. I've come to see that the hard stuff in recovery is a blessing, for it offers a valuable lesson to be learned.

~Rayna