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Feb 20, 2010, 04:57 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2010
Location: Where? US
Posts: 5,621
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Darn, I have to start the count over.  I just didn't realize what I was doing while doing it. I just hope that i can be stronger for the next time. But I did start to realize what was going on before the SI. I realized that I had been alone before I had done it and, a little discouraged. I just got in that "mode" where things just got to bad. The Menatal pain is just becoming to much to deal with, and I don't know how to express that part of all of this. I just seem to get stuck in the mode where SI is the only way out. I sort of know how I get in the "modes" but I don't know how to stay away from that part of me. I want that part of me away, just don't know how.
One another issue I did tell another and it's gotten me a little stressed, since they where not a professional. I think that might have led to the mode, but I just don't know.
Does anyone else feel like it is a MODE that you get into before you SI??
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