I'm in a similar situation. I moved out two and a half years ago, and while my experience hasn't been terrible, I've been living paycheque to paycheque and in a pretty crappy apartment. What gets to me most is the lack of parents. I just miss having them, even if they were bad. But as much as I miss "home," and as much as my resolve wavers and I think "maybe home wasn't so bad," if I keep reminding myself that I'll be better off in the long run, that the more time I'm out of that situation the better I'll get...it seems a bit easier. It may suck now, but it WILL get better. YOU will get better. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it. Either way, I wish you the best of luck with everything. It's not easy, but if you're strong enough to leave, you'll be strong enough to get through this, too.