These stories are really amazing and at the same time they are sickening.
I had an older cousin that used to pull me into the bathroom or into his bedroom and french kiss me and run his hands all over me when I was 9 years old up to 11. He did a lot of other sexual things to me too. **** sex and forced oral sex. I never told anyone because we all lived together, there were 9 kids and two adult women, my Mom and my Aunt. My cousin was much older than me at the time. I remember he got drafted into the Army and I wished he would get killed in combat, unfortunately for me he got stationed close by home and I managed to duck him for 2 years, then he got married, divorced, disappeared for a while, someone said he was locked up in Arizona for molesting kids. He came back and remarried, had several kids and I think he molested one of the girls. He dropped dead a few years ago at age 56. I can remember being tied up, forced to have sex, gagged, assulted by several of his friends in the neighborhood, etc.
When he died I told my Mom what he had done to me, it then came to light that he tried with one of my brothers but was unsuccessful. He also reportedly raped his sister many times.

I have been DX with dissociation (sp) NOC. I swear I am 2 people and I am known in some circles by a different name. have some good periods of time and then I have times when I fault myself, why didn't I fight? Why did I like it sometimes? Why did I invite it to happen sometimes. I feel like a freak and a bad person. I wish I would have told, fought and bit his d ick off.

Sorry gotta go.............................Triggers........time to find my safe place.

Eric