Some of these guys sound like real pricks and they should be in therapy. Too bad they usually don't seek help, unless ordered to do so by a judge. I feel sorry for you. Try not to blame yourself. Don't get hung up on things like seeing yourself as withdrawn and other self criticisms in a negative way. Instead, acknowledge the fact that you have your own personality traits, and others have theirs. Nobody is better than the other. But if this guy is telling you to do something, then blowing up at you for doing it, and then you try to reverse it, and he blows up at you for that. Those actions are outright hurtful and he should seek treatment for his behavior. But like I said, that's probably unrealistic that he would seek treatment.

I didn't seek treatment until I realized that I was causing suffering to others around me, by my actions, not my personality or thoughts.

If he is not aware of the negative actions he is taking and his own behavior, is there a way to point that out to him? What if you just flat out say it? He sounds like the type of person who would get defensive and turn it around on you, and try to make it out to be your fault. Don't let him get you down. In time he might realize it, apologize, and deal with his own issues. At least, that would be ideal right? Whatever happens, just try not to blame yourself. Don't be self-critical.

Easier said than done of course, but that's the only advice I can really give, not having been in a similar situation.