Myers,

I know you are trying your best to do things the right way here. But, manipulating your wife won't do you or her any favors at all.

I believe you may be overthinking this issue a bit. I know it's hard not to when you are smack dab in the middle of it all.

Here is what I suggest to you:

Instead of being manipulated any more than she already is, she needs to make a decision. Is her marriage and life with you what she wants or is it him? At this point, if I were you, I would put down in writing what her options are as far as you are concerned. Let her know if you have feelings about what she is doing. Let her know how she may be destroying your marriage by trying to help her ex. Let her know that he is an adult and can take care of himself and find his own support system as she is no longer considered his support system when she married you. When she married you, she broke all ties with him and that boundary must be kept in place especially for the sake of your child.

I understand that you may not care what you have to do to protect your family. But, your child will certainly care if you do something harmful or illegal. Maybe not right now, but in years to come, it will work on him/her and it will cause much heartache. I get that you are trying really hard to not do the wrong thing. I applaud you for that.

I wish you and your family well.

sabby