Grithnir, thanks for replying, what I meant was to share with someone the constant rigid pill taking, the illnesses that go with it, the stigma we live under, the timebomb like existence that it is and the worry that one could pass on such a horrible condition to someone else inadvertendly. I wouldnt mind living to be 90 and not to be dependent on drugs to extend your life which is a constant daily reminder of a careless foolish moment several years ago. THe constant attendance at hospital for check ups and bloodwork and investigations necsessary should you develop a cough or your glands swell up that an otherwise normal person can just pass off as a cold. The fear inerhent as your immune system decreases and those vital CD4 Cells deplete and your viral load increases, these are things I contend with on a daily basis and would like to meet someone else here who also has a mental condition for support and solidarity. That is all. Living to be 55 as a result of anti retro viral drugs, I am sorry, is no consolation.