Understood. Speaking only for myself, I'll be here for you whenever you take that leap. You seem to have a good grasp of what you'll be going through. Just don't rob yourself of many good years, ok?

That was my biggest outrage when I finally got through it; all the years that I had been robbed of. Something else that was very painful and took a few years to get through my head; my husband isn't capable of giving me the emotional support I need. What I finally had to realize was that someone who isn't going through the same things as we do has nothing to fall back on for understanding. Like I said before, my husband doesn't have the emotional CAPABILITY (it's impossible for him) to even begin to understand or to GIVE. In the beginning, it wasn't his fault. He suffered abuse, too. Now that he's old, it would be nice if he could find the courage to accept his failings, but he can't do that, either. Some of us have the wherewithal to accept and change and some of us don't. We, you and I and others in the same situation, can either accept things the way they are or change them. It's our choice. I have chosen to accept my husband just the way he is. I know how life without him was. We were separated for seven years. I know how life had been and how it is now with him. Some things have changed... mostly me. I prefer to have him around.

Take care of YOU.