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Hunny · Feb 21, 2010, 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anderson

We are feeling like this when we try to tell others how we talk inside. How can you get others to understand that you be able to communicate with each other when parts are not cloacked with fear.

They do not understand that which they do not understand or have never exsperenced. Even those here have their own story on how they learned how to communicate with each other. One of the groups that we where not able to talk with was keeping the present abuse from the whole. This group was all young alters. In their mind they thought they where protecting us like they had done so in the past. We are still crying over the pain that was caused not only to them but to us because how do you get a sinlgleton to understand that they may be having sex with an aduilt body but are molesting the mind of a child. You are only repeating that which made us who we are. We are not mad at our inner children we only weep for the fact that they truely beleived that they were protecting us from the same men that had hurt us so much in the past. We told one person here we honestly do not know which was more pathetic that we publicly ask for protection or the fact that not one person even our so called friends did not lift a finger to help us because they thought we were lost in recall. These men only reinforced that this body was only ment to be used by others with no hope ,no future. but when we try to leave someone is standing there saying how can we protect you if you are not with us. My question is after 3 years of this how can you expecte us as a group to believe that you will protect us from present abuse? You know one looked me in the eyes and asked us why should it not change we finely know what is going on. God we just wanted to hit him the *SS. So here we are sitting in a town that was tought to hate us for being different but knowing in our hearts of hearts that if it was meant for us to move the door would have been open a long time ago. living by faith is not easy at times we just want to go to heaven how can one person be asked to survive so much and at times feel so alone?

(((((((Anderson)))))))

First, you are not alone, you are with all of us here on this Forum and you will never be considered pathetic by me/us. Thank you for sharing your painful experience. Trust is so hard when an individual has been sa’d as a child and even as adults were not treasured, either by ourself/ves or others for various reasons. Even now we try to find the respect for ourself/ves that we deserve. Trying to do something nice for ourself everyday.

Are there men or women out there who do ‘get this idea’ of sex with an adult sa person may include a mind of a child, even once the awareness of being multiple is evident? How would that look for them? What would ‘safety’ to those inner children look like so the adult could enjoy their God given gift with an adult? You do get some good questions going, Anderson.

I am sorry this person, after 3 years, thought awareness was enough and did not realize that we can barely trust, but are learning. It would have been better for the child to never have been harmed in the first place. How can this person you refer to know that he is and will always need to be a protector of the small ones and a respectful friend or lover, if this is the case, to the grown woman, unless he has knowledge of this himself? He should not have the concept of the oleboy syndrome or the female of the evilwhatever.

As well how can he know that there is a difference between him being a protector and a rescuer or codependent? I think it may be that there are men or women out there who know or get it, but honesty is very hard and openness may be even more difficult. You are worth the try, Anderson. You tell them that.

Do we persevere, and is this part of a greater purpose? I don’t know. Isn’t there something more that I was meant for besides going over this message, again and again?

Perhaps for now Anderson you need a get-away or a holiday? The door may not open to a complete move but you do sound to me like a rest is in store, my friend or a retreat or a spa for a few months...we hope there are pennies from heaven for this, or something like.

The main thing is does anyone care and I guess that is where you are at contemplating the ‘heaven talk’. Well, I care, many others here care. It is a long journey that we are on, one day at a time, to help people ‘get it’, mostly ourself/ves. Is that part of my purpose? You are allowed to be feeling this on this day Anderson and we reach out to comfort if it would help at all.

Anderson, when you are hurting, I feel like I am hurting, not in a co-dependant kind of way but in a coming along side way. This is empathy. You are not stirring up my inner child parts regarding this, so just know that. But it has given me/us much to ponder and I/we hope for good answers to come for you and all of us here at PC.

You are so loved and appreciated here!

Love,
Hunny