Quote:
Originally Posted by TayQuincy
But on the other hand, if I was feeling sad because I was thinking that nobody likes me, or thinking something else based on negative thoughts that aren't true or are distortions of reality, then my T would say NOT to allow myself to feel those feeling.
She would encourage me to recognize the distorted thoughts and change those thoughts in order to change the feeling.
An example of that would be feeling sad that nobody like sme or nobody is there for me. I could recognize that as a distortion right away based on the all or nothing word "nobody". It's just not true that nobody likes, etc. Change the thought, think about the real truth and th sadness goes away. It's pointless to feel sadness based on distortion of thoughts.
It is very empowering to realize that we do have more control over how we feel at any given moment. It is also usefull in that we all need to be able to "put away" our feelings at times, even if they are feelings we need to process (grief, sadness, anger etc.) There are times to let it all out and that is healthy, but there are also times when it's not appropriate to let them all out (on the job, parent-teacher conferences etc)
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This thread is very interesting! Tay, I would answer to this sadness example that these feelings are based on valid distortions. We get to where we are in a very predictable and understandable way. Things happened to us, we formed reactions and thoughts to these things, and until we recognize them and work through them, they will always be with us. So I would say that instead of looking at it as something that is distorted, I would look at it as something that makes sense considering what we had experienced. It needs to be embraced and worked through in a deep way, not quickly worked through with some superficial CBT.
Wow, I don't have that much control over my feelings. My feelings just come out sometimes and I apoligize if I need to or explain simply but I never feel bad about it (embarrassed). We are human.......... I guess I am in situations that are emotion friendly. If I was in a situation that wasn't emotion friendly I think that I would be able to control my feelings because my need to protect myself would supercede my desire to allow my feelings.