Eros' Psyche, oh my god! WOW! I couldn't stop nodding as I read your reply in agreement with everything you said. We must be twins lol!

It really does all start with one little thought that manifests into this complete nightmare. That's exactly how it is for me. I have had moments where I start obsessing over one thought and try to justify it by looking at everything else negatively. My boyfriend has gotten the worst end of the stick when it comes to that, a current issue I'm working on.

I have a therapist too and I absolutely love working with her too. I can talk to my friends and family, but there's nothing like getting help from a therapist.

Yes, I keep going in circles about that. I know he won't completely understand it. I know there's a big chance that he'll take everything completely wrong and it'll end up in a big fight or worse. The most he knows of how I've felt is that I've been a little scared and nervous in our relationship, especially when we hit the one year mark because it was like WOW, a year! Aha.

This is the part where I just...COMPLETELY agreed with you! This is EXACTLY what I do. I try to "prepare" myself for the worst, not even knowing what the worst really is! I drive myself crazy with all the what if's and the "this could happen" and "that could happen". I'm definitely not ignorant, and I know there's a possibility that my boyfriend and I could break up, but it's like I try to suffer the pain of a possible breakup NOW so that if it happens, it won't hurt as bad. It's completely crazy and doesn't even make sense now that I type it.

Thank you SO much for replying. Seriously. You were really insightful and understanding. And I like paragraphs lol.