All I can say i this too shall pass. Loosing the person yo ulove is never easy and no matter what anyone says it is not going to be ok for a while. I can sympathize with you, i have gone through this myself after being with my first love for 4 years and having my heart broken again and again. But with thime you will come to see that you are better off and this happened this way for a reason. As for being stomned for a year and comming off of that I can't really help you there but to say stick with what you are doing and to get professional help for you eye prolbem so as not to depend on illegal substances.
Hang in there wiht work, because if you loose your job too, then you will have no reason to get out of bed in the morning, at least your job keeps you connected with reality and hello, making money so you can survive. He took your heart don't let him take everything form you.
You are probally so tired because you are depressed. You need to get out and take a walk get some fresh air and some sun, or at least some excercise if it's too cold outside (don't know where u live).
All I'm saying is take it day by day and momemt bby moment if yo uhave to, you are doing the right ing, you are getting up everymorning and you will survive this and be stronger for it!
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Originally Posted by flora_poste
I'm just... exhausted. Emotionally, physically. I feel like my soul has been sucked out of me and I'm just left an empty shell. I'm mourning the loss of the hope of ever being with the 1st person I ever truly loved. I'm going through weed withdrawal (been perpetually stoned for a year), still recovering from bronchitis, my eyes are killing me (chronic condition that weed was helping), I can't eat a full meal despite being hungry and I literally feel such a huge weight on my chest that it physically hurts... I'd give anything to have it lifted so I could at least feel comfortable breathing.
I just want to sleep. If I could get away with it, I'd just sleep for a week straight. Work is so daunting. I mean, all I really have to do is log into a website and wait for my phone to ring... but the idea of having to force myself to be perky and enthusiastic makes me want to hurl. My mind and my body just feel... weak and wilted.
I spent so long loving him, believing we were tailor made for each other. He's one of the best friends I've had and has literally been the 1st man to really be IN my life. I love him still, and unconditionally. I grew to know and love him like family. It's so hard to let go of the fantasy, it's been such a huge part of my life, I feel such a loss without it.
I know this isn't the end of the world, I still see a future, I still have plans... it's been a wake up call, I know he can't give me what I want and need... but still, I feel so empty.
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